THE Lowly Peon

a big fat greek failure 
14 August 2009, 3:04am

i just watched my big fat greek wedding for the first time. i remember hearing hype about this movie since it came out a million years ago. though i don't mind a chick flick on occasion, this one bothered me a bit. and here's why.

i've heard time and time again about how young america is, and how america has no culture. perhaps this is true, all things considered. we are only a few centuries old, and our culture is really just a big melting pot. but having young culture does not mean we don't have life.

for those of you who haven't seen the movie, it's about a black sheep greek woman who belongs to a huge family, who finally falls in love with this chicago native with long hair named price charming ian. he comes from a family of two parents, no siblings, a white picket fence and two cats in the yard. his parents don't know that greece in in europe, and are disgusted by several aspects of greek culture. in my opinion, they represent the stereotype that many foreign countries have of americans, which, after living abroad for a few years, i've come to resent (is fat tire from france? i don't think so.)

throughout the movie, prince charming ian is forced to make sacrifices to be with his woman. he converts to greek orthodox, he gets married in a greek orthodox church, and his friend can't be his best man because he's not greek orthodox. i genuinely think that compromise is necessary and the best way for everyone to meet halfway — everyone needs to make compromises, and more importantly, be willing to make compromises. however, in the reality of the movie, this relationship was not equal, balanced, or fair.

i am a chicago native, so perhaps i am a little biased. i come from a suburb (though i'd be darn* if there were two cats in the yard, and wilmette won't allow white picket fences without a permit), and i don't have too many loud obnoxious relatives. but that is not to say that my family has no life, no culture, or no interesting qualities. my dad went shark hunting in tunisia, for pete's sake.

so why is it, that in movies like this, it becomes romantic for the man to pretty much give every part of himself to the relationship, while the moral of the story, what you get from it, is that the woman grew to accept that her family was a part of her ("don't let your past define you, but let it be a part of who you will become"), and that she can't change that? part of me is angry that the relationship was so unbalanced, and the other part felt bad for her because she married a guy who was completely willing to be whatever she needed him to be.

in other words: why are there so many relationships where one side needs to "learn to accept" the other person's family and culture, while the other person stands proud without meeting the first person halfway? that is, by nature, unbalanced. and unbalanced relationships can't (and shouldn't) last.

i'm glad i finally watched that movie, but can't understand why it was such a hit. if the same thing happened where the woman was fifth generation kentuckian marrying a greek man, i'd bet the greek would have to learn how to make moonshine whiskey before she ever converted to greek orthodox.