THE Lowly Peon

Der 小 Peon, or: How I speak minimally in two languages an learned what it's like to be a super bad-ass 
27 January 2010, 5:06am

I just flew to Hong Kong from Hangzhou. I sat next to a couple, a big white guy with a Chinese — at first, I wasn't sure if she was Chinese or Phillipeano — woman. They were holding hands which clearly gave their status up. After not too long, I noticed that they were communicating in German. The people on the other side of me — two Chinese women, obvious to me by their attitude toward sitting first and leaving their stuff in the aisles — were friends of theirs. I worried it would be another flight like the one from Shanghai to Chicago, surrounded on both sides by a chatty family. However, they were quite polite to me, and very considerate.

The flight attendant, after not too long (I love DragonAir), came by with food. She said first to the woman, in English (as most people do when they see a Chinese woman with a white guy), the two meal options: chicken on rice or pork with noodles. She somewhat angrily said, in Mandarin, can you please speak Chinese to me? (I know from being with daisy for over two years that lots of mainlanders are pretty bugged that some Hong Kong people can't speak Mandarin.)

The flight attendant, to my surprise, didn't understand after several attempts. So I turned to her and told her the options in Chinese. She replied, pork with noodles, and I told the flight attendant in English.

Apparently it wasn't her day, because when the flight attendant turned to the German guy and asked him the same question, confident that at least he can speak English, she was left with the same issue. Since his wife was already into her meal and not paying attention, I told him, in German, chicken or pig (my German is far from decent — frankly, I'm amazed I even remembered those). He smiled and got the chicken.

The flight attendant turned to me and said that my Mandarin is better than hers. I modestly said oh come on, I only speak a little, and my German os awful.

But I won't lie. I have never felt so cool in my whole life.

Now I just need to get better at German, learn some Japanese, and maybe some Cantonese, and I'll be invincible.